Unfortunately Venus passed from this life to the next due to my son holding him and not setting him down when he started to squirm. Venus squirmed out of Nicholas’ hands, hit his head on a box and died. Nicholas was very sad and wanted Venus to be better. He picked him up from the floor and set him on the bed. That’s when he called me in for help.
I am so sad for Nicholas. I was told by the bunny experts that little kids should not be holding bunnies, yet he often holds them better than I do and has even taught me how. Was it partially my fault that Nicholas had to experience taking a life? Shortly after Venus’ demise, I was holding Thunder (properly I thought), then he started squirming. I got so scared and saw how easily it could have happened to me but didn’t. Just the thought of being the one with the hands that caused the demise makes me cry.
I am so sad for Nicholas. I was told by the bunny experts that little kids should not be holding bunnies, yet he often holds them better than I do and has even taught me how. Was it partially my fault that Nicholas had to experience taking a life? Shortly after Venus’ demise, I was holding Thunder (properly I thought), then he started squirming. I got so scared and saw how easily it could have happened to me but didn’t. Just the thought of being the one with the hands that caused the demise makes me cry.
We had a short funeral service for Venus at my mother’s home. Pop, as Nicholas refers to my step dad, dug the hole and placed Venus in it. The four of us held hands while I spoke a few words that included, “Let us learn from this and let his spirit live on.” Then Nicholas, Pop and I filled the hole with dirt together.
Nicholas still feels really bad as he should, so do I. However, I have to see the big picture and use it as a learning moment rather than a defining moment (or maybe it was both). For as long as Nicholas could speak, he says he is going to be in the army. We talk about the fact that you do not fight or kill another person unless it is absolutely necessary. We had another talk about it a few mornings ago after talking about Venus.
He says he knows that people in the army die and kill the bad guys. I asked him who he thinks the bad guys think the bad guys are (make sense?). He said, “Us.” I asked him if he thought someone who had to kill another felt bad about it. He said, “Yes.” I said if that ever happens to him, he needs to have compassion for himself and for the families and loved ones of the person killed, but the person who is dead is still alive in spirit. It is always better to help people stay alive as long as possible (if they want to). If it is a defining moment; let it be in a way that helps you to be better. So that person’s life wasn’t taken in vain. It should not be used as a reason (or excuse) to not carry on and continue to be the best that you can be.
Hopefully by the time Nicholas is in the army they will truly only be carrying out peaceful and productive missions such as those that Jim Channon talks about, which doesn’t seem to include the need to kill. What a beautiful day that will be!
Nicholas wants me to write for him that, “He loves that bunny.” That makes me so happy because he didn't always get along with Venus as well as he does Thunder. Love comes in many shapes and forms.
By Tonya Tyler
The psychic experience that seems to come hard for children can often be the mediating mind they develop and never then have to later crash when life crashes around them. Early tragedies becomes gifts more than the other way around. Its much worse when your third grade teacher tells you you can't draw! Thanks for the parable.
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